thirty things.

 via.

it's official.

i only have one more week in my twenties.

it's weird. kinda sorta in a not-sure-how-i'm-feeling kinda way.

i don't think i have any problem whatsoever with being thirty. or being in my thirties. from almost all accounts your thirties are great... you're still young. you're more sure of yourself than you were in your twenties. you have a direction. all that good stuff.

but the turning thirty.... that may be a little more difficult to swallow for me for some reason.

if you know me personally, i would hope you'd say i'm pretty laid back. i don't really work myself up too much over anything, really. and i would hope you'd say that i'm not terribly dramatic about things. so i'm really not trying to work this up.... just keepin' it real, y'all.

so i'm trying to look forward. to my next list, of what i want to do in my thirties....

until then, here are thirty things i'm thankful for (in no particular order).

1. my best friends, old & new, who continually give me grace & encouragement. you know who you are and i love you more than words can say.
2. my two healthy (and beautiful) children.
3. a roof over my head that i call my home.
4. my parents who love me unconditionally.
5. spring weather & daylight savings time. love.
6. tweety bird & her friend nesting on my patio.
7. my new computer. beyond blessed but so in love with it.
8. our wonderful church.
9. pinterest. enough said.
10. my love affair with fabuloso cleaner. thank you ashley hall.
11. iced grande skinny caramel macchiato. done.
12. on that note, splenda.
13. my daily devotional.
14. a tire full of air.
15. my artsy (albeit sometimes flakey) side.
16. living less than a mile from my friends. the best thing about this move. the. best.
17. sitting on the backporch with the hubbs. my favorite thing to do. thankful for that precious time.
18. the internet. with all the bad, there really is a ton of good. thankful for all of the continuing education available online.
19. color. i know it's silly, but i. love. color. and i think it's amazing that our God created that. wow.
20. baseball. go rangers.
21. freedom.
22. our puppy dog.
23. the campaign.
24. my talented sister, and a successful surgery this week for her. so thankful for the healing process to begin.
25. green grass.
26. a covered patio. (see #17 and #6)
27. girl scout cookies.
28. project life.
29. my ah-mazing hottie of a husband who loves me with all of my horrible faults, accepts me as i am and makes me a better person. i love him love him love him. he is my favorite.
30. my twenties. for rounding me out & making me the person i am today. i've grown so much & yet so little.... and for that, i'll always love my twenties.

easter.

last week was an emotional week for me for several reasons. 

one, my baby boy turned FOUR on friday. more to come on his simple & sweet birthday bbq later. love my sweet boy.

second, i felt very much in tune with preparation for Easter this year. probably because i feel like i've experienced the love of Jesus more than i ever have in the last several months. i am humbled by how much He loves me. i am brought to my knees every time i think of what He did for me on the cross oh so many years ago. 

thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, with the preparation for Easter, i was reminded often of those people that i love dearly that do not know Jesus as savior... my sweet son & daughter included. 

b. made resurrection eggs at school last week and very much understands the story of Jesus dying on the cross for us. he knows that we tell him all the time how very much Jesus loves him. he knows that the tomb was empty on that Easter day so many years ago (although he says last week) and he knows that Jesus now lives in Heaven with God & Pops (J's grandfather). 

he knows that's what we tell him, at least.

but, he hasn't put it all together yet. i am very intentional about cultivating our conversations regarding heaven. i stay on the subject as long as he does.... but the moment he moves on to something else, i go with it. i do not want to force his faith. i want his faith to be his own, even from an early age. i think this makes it real... authentic. i never ever ever want to hear him say, "i believe in Jesus because my parents tell me He is real...." on the other hand, i would love to hear him say that he believes because he saw it lived out in our lives.... that he saw that it is real.

either way - heaven & salvation were heavy on my heart this week. praying for those precious people in my life who don't know or understand the love of our Lord Jesus. i was humbled by how much i do not deserve to go to heaven. i was overwhelmed by His grace & mercy. i wanted to beg people to get to know Him. to give Him a chance. to come as they are - to know that they will never have it all together, that's not what Jesus promises. He does promise grace. He promises love... and forgiveness. He promises eternal life. in Heaven. with Him. 

the same broken heart i experienced this week for people who will never reach out and receive this free & precious gift is the same broken heart i had when i was seven years old memorizing the 23rd psalm for a 'prize' in sunday school. it is what finally brought me to my knees before the Father and made me beg Jesus to come into my heart because i knew that He was my savior... my only hope.

i pray that for you. i pray that you know Jesus, and that you experience Him. let Him rule your heart. i promise you will never regret it. i also promise that it won't be easy - it will be a process... ALWAYS a process, but you and your life will be more joyful for it. more restful. more hopeful. maybe it shouldn't be me who promises that... but in the Bible, Jesus does promise that. and He's the real deal.

"For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be FILLED UP to all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:14-19)

confession.

imagine that you are sleeping. (don't you love sleep?) seriously. close your eyes and think about how it feels to be in that deep sleep in your most comfy pajamas and your softest sheets. your pillow is just right and you're having a wonderful dream of something wonderful.... and then.....

you're awakened by a shrill and unbelievably horrid noise.

a siren-like-scream that gradually gets louder as it goes on.

and it's coming from the person right next to you.

got it? yeah.

me. to.

but unfortunately, i'm not the one that is awoken with the loud scream.

i'm the one screaming.

yes. i have nightmares. it's hereditary, actually. (there i go, self-diagnosing....) seriously. my mom has them too.... with the same type scream. i heard her once when we were staying in a hotel together.

mine started the week after i got home from my honeymoon, no judgement please! they're never ever the same dream. in fact, most of the time by the time jeff shakes gently nudges me awake, i can't even remember what was happening. generally, it's something where i am trying to scream in my dream and i can't for the life of me get it out...... so, trying and trying and trying to scream is, i guess, how i end up actually screaming out loud.

what's the point?

well - i almost had one last night. almost. there was a bird basically dive bombing me and i couldn't get away.... yes, laugh out loud please. at my expense. (we have a bird right now that pretty much does this, so it's sort of a reality for me...) but i ended up waking up before i screamed.

let me tell you, that this is no small thing for me. i came to realize a while back that these nightmares tend to happen when i'm extremely overtired or extremely overstressed. and i must say that it's probably only happened 10 or so times ever.

but i've noticed that, knock on wood, they haven't happened since we started the campaign. this is no small miracle. i completely attribute this to God's mercy. i thought about it after i woke up last night... i'm terribly surprised that i haven't had a single one during this process, considering how stressful it can be, as well as how overtired i seem to get on a weekly basis. i can't say that they terribly bother me, but i'm sure they bother my precious deep-sleeping husband.

i'm trying to keep perspective during this process. trying to focus on the Lord and not our circumstances, as our circumstances change daily. trying to count every thing - even the small things - as blessings from HIM, not mere coincidences that are happenstance.

and so here i am - testifying to you - about my small miracle. realizing that it could change at any moment, and it's no big deal if it does, but for now, i'm thankful for the more restful sleep that the hubbs & i are getting. thankful for the God we serve that never fails to have a sense of humor and gives me 'things' that lighten the mood around here.

i hope you're staying dry today! it's supposed to be a wet one!

blueberries. (a.k.a. bluebonnets)

friday afternoon i mustered up some will power to get the littles out for bluebonnet pictures. 

there may have been some bribing involved. maybe.

and as much as i tried to pump b. up for my picture taking fiasco, he kept thinking we were going to take pictures with blueberries. no wonder he didn't understand.

luckily we live literally two seconds from bluebonnet trail. we parked outside a cleaners and walked on over to the trail. 

the time between me deciding to go and actually getting there was time enough for the sun to come out in full force. and little miss has some precious fair skin. so we found one lone bush tree to sit semi-under and take a few pictures. 

she didn't want anything to do with sitting in the middle of the bluebonnets. the outskirts were more her style.

my attempt at getting the two of them to sit together under the bush.... was.... semi-successful. whenever i want them to say cheese, b squeezed c real tight. she didn't like that.

my big man loved running through the heels (a.k.a. hills).

it was hard to get him to sit still.

texas beauty. here today and gone tomorrow, right? is it me or are they here super early this year?

isn't it neat how wild these wildflowers are?  it's such a great reminder of how GREAT and creative our God is.

lately.

i LOVE spring.

everything about it, i love. the budding flowers, the green on the trees, the days get longer.... i love it.

and i can FEEL the lazy days of summer coming........ i really can just feel it! can't you??

sweet girl gets in and out of the cozy coupe.

and only 'drives' backward. then she gets out, pushes it forward, gets back in only to go backward again.

have i mentioned how much i L-O-V-E love having a little girl?

she's a hoot.

he finally got fed up with the dandelion and just pulled the pieces off.

'hmmmm.... what should i do next?'

i swear i'm going to end up in the E.R. any day now.

all this boy does is jump.

ahhhh.... it feels good to blog. to document. to write.

but sometimes, i have to restrain myself from saying all that i really want to say. you know how that is, right? being PC? yup.

y'all have a great weekend!

spring break.