confession.

imagine that you are sleeping. (don't you love sleep?) seriously. close your eyes and think about how it feels to be in that deep sleep in your most comfy pajamas and your softest sheets. your pillow is just right and you're having a wonderful dream of something wonderful.... and then.....

you're awakened by a shrill and unbelievably horrid noise.

a siren-like-scream that gradually gets louder as it goes on.

and it's coming from the person right next to you.

got it? yeah.

me. to.

but unfortunately, i'm not the one that is awoken with the loud scream.

i'm the one screaming.

yes. i have nightmares. it's hereditary, actually. (there i go, self-diagnosing....) seriously. my mom has them too.... with the same type scream. i heard her once when we were staying in a hotel together.

mine started the week after i got home from my honeymoon, no judgement please! they're never ever the same dream. in fact, most of the time by the time jeff shakes gently nudges me awake, i can't even remember what was happening. generally, it's something where i am trying to scream in my dream and i can't for the life of me get it out...... so, trying and trying and trying to scream is, i guess, how i end up actually screaming out loud.

what's the point?

well - i almost had one last night. almost. there was a bird basically dive bombing me and i couldn't get away.... yes, laugh out loud please. at my expense. (we have a bird right now that pretty much does this, so it's sort of a reality for me...) but i ended up waking up before i screamed.

let me tell you, that this is no small thing for me. i came to realize a while back that these nightmares tend to happen when i'm extremely overtired or extremely overstressed. and i must say that it's probably only happened 10 or so times ever.

but i've noticed that, knock on wood, they haven't happened since we started the campaign. this is no small miracle. i completely attribute this to God's mercy. i thought about it after i woke up last night... i'm terribly surprised that i haven't had a single one during this process, considering how stressful it can be, as well as how overtired i seem to get on a weekly basis. i can't say that they terribly bother me, but i'm sure they bother my precious deep-sleeping husband.

i'm trying to keep perspective during this process. trying to focus on the Lord and not our circumstances, as our circumstances change daily. trying to count every thing - even the small things - as blessings from HIM, not mere coincidences that are happenstance.

and so here i am - testifying to you - about my small miracle. realizing that it could change at any moment, and it's no big deal if it does, but for now, i'm thankful for the more restful sleep that the hubbs & i are getting. thankful for the God we serve that never fails to have a sense of humor and gives me 'things' that lighten the mood around here.

i hope you're staying dry today! it's supposed to be a wet one!