blessing.

do you ever need this reminder?

i do.

especially here lately. i've been praying over a certain 'situation' in my life for a long time. as in, for years. and in the last year my heart has been heavy heavy heavy. i pray for healing. i pray for forgiveness for all of my judgement, i pray for restoration.

sometimes i have to pray for the desire to pray.

and sometimes i wonder if He hears me. if He hears all of us praying. if He does, then why has the situation not changed? why has He not answered our prayers???

a few weeks ago it hit me that the Lord may never answer my prayer the way that i want Him to. the way that i think that He should.

don't get me wrong, i'm not asking for material blessings or anything like that... i'm not asking for anything that i think would be anything less than what HE wants. but maybe that's just it.

maybe He wants more. 

more time.
more prayers.
more people changed.
more glory.
more of me.

what if He brought all of this about just so that i, becky, was on my knees everyday begging for His grace & mercy? what if His whole plan that has been terribly painful is all meant to bless me?

does that not blow your mind? that the Lord may be orchestrating all sorts of stuff in the world to get YOUR attention for ONE moment in time?? wow.

let me be the first to tell you that i did not take this epiphany well. i verbally told the Lord that i did not need Him to do this. that He could mess with anything else in my life but i did not want Him to mess with this.

i was angry. with the situation, with people, with the Lord.

the next morning i woke up and was working through my bible study that rocked my world in all kinds of ways.

and what verse was staring at me in the face?

'Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.' (James 5:16)

our prayers are....... effective???? they make a difference?? they really can bring healing???

please don't get me wrong... i'm not saying that i'm a 'righteous man'. far from it to say the least. but it was certainly a challenge and an encouragement all at the same time. just when i needed it most. my prayers are not falling on deaf ears. 

so once again, i am laying it all down at His feet. it's a daily process for me. all the while knowing that His answer might not be the answer i want, but that He is still Great.

so i continue on.

because the Lord promises that He hears. and, that prayers are effective.

this post has been on my heart for a while but i haven't had the courage to write it. hopefully it will encourage at least one of you today.

and for those of you who commented on my worship song i left here a few weeks ago from my sweet friend terri, here's another one.

may you be blessed today.