Monday, April 30, 2012

to make texas happier....

yesterday was a big day at our house. yesterday was april 29th.

what's so special?

we now have ONE more month until the election.

it's been longer than the hubbs or i ever conceived it to be, but i still, somehow, can't conceive that we have only one month left. although sometimes it feels like it's more that there's STILL one month left... but that's not the point.

the point that i'm trying to make is that after this last nine months, i am changed. i am not the same person as the one that went into this adventure last august. i am different. i'm a different wife. i parent differently. i have different priorities. i have different relationships. i have a different view of my Lord. i have a different view of people. 

forever changed.

it's amazing what such a seemingly short time span can do to a person. things that i thought were rock solid about myself are now broken. things that i thought were huge weaknesses in myself are now strengths. it's nothing short of miraculous. it's a miraculous work that the Lord has done in my life. in my marriage, in my family.

people often ask me how in the world we could even think of doing this with children. that was my first response when the hubbs and i were challenged to pray about this call. we thought to ourselves, "but we have such young children!" how on earth could he possibly be away from them. how on earth could we rock their world like that? 

but you know what we found? that "but we have such young children!" was actually the answer. but to a different question. this time the question was how could we NOT think of doing this? i remember very specifically as we were praying through this, and i kept asking God that question: "what about our kids? i'll go wherever You want me to, but what about our children??" and i remember very clearly - almost audibly, but not quite - "dear becky, but I am bigger than all of that."

wow. do you believe that? do you believe that He is bigger than all of your excuses, no matter how good they are. no matter how rational. He. Is. Bigger.

yes. it's been a long, hard road. i told the hubbs last night that 90% of the time i don't think about how tired i am, how weary we are or all that has happened or all that is going to happen in the next month, year, etc. ninety percent. i think that's a pretty good percentage. and that 90% of the time, i'm doing great. i just make it all happen. make it work. my house may be a mess. i may be a mess, but there is food on the table, clean underwear and we are somehow all at whatever place we need to be at whenever time we need to be there. somehow, the hubbs and i are still happily married (remember, i said 90%, right?) and somehow we still find precious slivers of time to simply be husband and wife. 

but it's that 10%. the 10% that makes me cling to the Lord for dear life. the 10% that makes me tear up, even as i write this. it's the 10% that has changed me forever.

it has changed the way i worship. now, i worship freely, often with tears streaming down my face, praising the Lord for changing my life, my heart, for choosing US (not just the hubbs) to go into this battlefield and fight for His glory. now, i have to fill my house with worship music because i've learned the great lesson of focus. if i'm focused on worshiping the Lord, my eyes are NOT on my circumstances... that 10%.

it has changed my marriage. the hubbs and i have been together since 1998... so, a while. and we've never been the best communicators. but boy has this rocked that boat. i can completely see how it could tear a marriage apart... campaigns, well, politics in general often do. but God, again, continues to show us that He is bigger than politics. He is bigger than time constraints and the demands of a campaign. He has even healed things in our marriage through this process that i didn't even feel needed healing. we've learned how to be true servants to one another, although it's not always the case, but we're now quick to communicate and iron out problems before they fester and grow into big time issues.

it has changed our children. our children now can see, in our lives - and truly in their own lives - what it means to serve others. to serve for Christ. b. especially talks about it with us at bedtime. how important it is for daddy to walk neighborhoods, get signs out, etc. - but for a reason. the hubbs often tells this story, and the humor and wonder of b's statement has worn off on me, but i think it's very important to share what he's learning. when you ask him why daddy is running for office, he says this: "to make texas happier."

such a profound statement, i think, from a four-year-old little boy.
and yes, that's the essence of why the hubbs is running. but it's in the running that we want to impact the kingdom for Christ. j is doing what he was clearly made to do. what the Lord placed on his heart a LONG time ago to do. if you ever hear him speak, or see him at an event, no one can deny that this is how he was made to serve. 

i'm so very proud of him. proud of his character & integrity & courage. his willingness to face adversity. proud of his listening ear and his soft heart.

and proud to support him in his endeavor "to make texas happier."

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